You don't have to date a guy for six months to get the lowdown on who he really is. With the right clues, you can size him up in 10 minutes. "A man's actions -- especially the ones you see in unguarded moments when he's not going out of his way to try to impress you （or doesn't realize you're watching） -- can speak volumes about his character and personality traits," says Rita Benasutti, PhD, a psychotherapist who specializes in couples' issues. To help you decode a guy you've just started seeing, Cosmo called on a team of experts to tell you how to assess his actions and tap into his boyfriend potential, pronto.

    His Favorite Sport

    "Solo sportsmen, like runners and swimmers, 1 savor their independence and relish spending a lot of time alone," says relationship-skills coach Steve Nakamoto, author of "Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching a Man." Men who are fans of mainstream team sports, like football, basketball, and baseball, 2 tend to be competitive -- on the field and in all aspects of their life -- and they like to hang with their entourage. As for the guy who's just not into sports at all, 3 "he's an independent thinker, usually on the sensitive side."

    How Long He's Been Hanging With His Friends

    A guy who has been friends with the same posse since he was 10 years old can certainly claim 4 loyalty as one of his strong suits. But "you better like what you see, because he's probably not great with change," says dating coach Liz H. Kelly, author of "Smart Man Hunting." "And be patient, because it will take a while for you to win his trust." If your date has buddies from all areas of his life -- i.e., college, the gym, work -- don't be afraid to drag him to your cousin's wedding. 5 "He has no problem schmoozing strangers and adapts to new situations easily."

    Credit vs. Cash

    A guy who likes to flash his plastic 6 craves status. "He may be ambitious and confident. He'll reach his financial goals," says Rob Ronin, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and registered financial consultant. "If he always pays in cash, 7 he's self-sufficient and independent," which might make him a difficult dude to corner. And if his wallet is dry? 8 Here's a guy who's dependent on others to take care of him.

    His Bad Habits

    Gambling men 9 are risk-takers, which can make them a lot of fun. "But their over-the-top optimism that they'll come out ahead makes it difficult for them to face reality," says Mitchell Parks, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry at Vanderbilt University, in Nashville. "Hard-core smokers 10 tend to be anxious," says Dr. Parks, so it can be hard to pin them down for couple-time. And if he's a boozer, 11 he could be hiding his insecurity behind his buzz.

    His Communication Style

    When your date opts to email you -- rather than call -- 12 he could be a hard nut to crack. "The fact that he chooses a communication method that allows him to edit what he says signals that he might not want to show his true self," says Jeff Bryson, PhD, professor of psychology at San Diego State University. An IM addict 13 craves your nonstop attention and needs that instant assurance that you're there for him. And the phone fan? 14 He might be a little old-fashioned and likes to do things by the book. But, according to Bryson, "he's not afraid of intimacy."

    The Clothes You Wear That He Prefers

    If your fave T-shirt and jeans or a cute little sundress do more for him than your slinky black number, 15 you're dating an earthy, laid-back guy who likes equally laid-back, low-maintenance chicks. A man who's wowed by a woman who likes to get dolled up in high-end designer duds 16 places a high priority on prestige. "He'll probably make a lot of money, but it also might play too important a role in his life," says Los Angeles clinical psychologist Nancy Irwin, PsyD. And a guy who wants a Carmen Electra-sensual girl on his arm 17 is looking for an ego boost. "He places a lot of value on being admired and envied."

    How He Deals With Traffic

    If he constantly weaves in and out of cars, tailgates slowpokes, and glares at other drivers, 18 "it's pretty clear that he has a problem with aggression," says Leon James, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Hawaii and author of "Road Rage and Aggressive Driving." While a forceful personality might take him far in the workplace, it could be difficult to deal with this argumentative guy in a relationship. If he's able to exude Zen-like calm when stuck in gridlock, 19 "he's likely to have more self-control."

    What He Orders in a Restaurant

    A meat-and-potatoes-type guy 20 is usually steady and dependable, says image coach Dianne Daniels, author of "Polish and Presence: 31 Days to a New Image." "But he's also a little unadventurous." If your date goes for exotic dishes, 21 "you're with someone who makes spontaneity a priority and could easily get bored with the status quo."

    Neat Freak or Messy Man

    A guy who puts his dirty socks in the hamper is one thing; a guy who color-codes them in his drawer is something else. 22 "This man is way too fastidious to have fun," explains Daniels, "and he'll expect you to be just as neat." A mildly messy man 23 is looser and more open-minded. But if the inside of his shower has never seen a scrub brush, 24 he may be immature or just plain lazy.

    Favorite TV Shows

    Take note if he parks himself in front of one sitcom after another. 25 "Here's a guy who uses humor to defuse stress," says TV producer Hedda Muskat, author of "Dating Confidential: A Single's Guide to a Fun, Flirtatious and Possibly Meaningful Social Life." This can be a good thing, because he won't hold a grudge against you or lose his cool. But it also might be hard to get into a serious conversation with him, which can be frustrating. "The more you try to discuss something important, the more evasive he will become," says Muskat. A couch sleuth who's fascinated by CSI-type shows, on the other hand, 26 is analytical and thoughtful. "He prides himself on his problem-solving abilities and will be there for you when you need support," says Muskat.

    His Birth Order

    "The oldest child 27 is usually a responsible, take-charge kind of guy," says Nancy Fagan, author of "Desirable Men." If your babe is the baby of his brood, 28 "he's likely to be creative and a little rebellious." As for a middle man: 29 "He's a sensitive soul who needs loads of attention."

    How He Approaches PDAs

    When you're out in public and he's all over you like a rash, 30 "he's either trying to show you off or marking his territory, both of which are signs of insecurity," says Nakamoto. A guy who's allergic to body contact in public is 31 unsure about his feelings for you or your feelings for him. "PDAs are statements of togetherness," says Nakamoto. "If he has doubts, he'll keep his distance physically."

    Whether He Always Drives or Wants You To

    "A guy who doesn't automatically assume driving rights 32 is likely to let you steer the relationship at least some of the time," says Kelly. A man who hogs the wheel -- even in your car -- 33 is sweetly old-fashioned at best and, at worst, could be a control freak.

    The Guy's Grooming MO

    A guy who checks out his reflection in every store window you pass is obviously vain. But, interestingly, 34 it's also a sign of a dude who's intent on succeeding. "Presentation is everything to this kind of man," says Sheenah Hankin, PhD, author of "Complete Confidence." "He sees it as a measure of his self-respect and success." 35 The low-key, less conceited guy might be less ambitious, "but he's easier to connect with emotionally because he's not as superficial," says Hankin. "What counts on the inside matters more to him."

    If He Looks You in the Eye

    "A man who doesn't make eye contact during conversation 36 may not be trustworthy," says speech coach Diane DiResta, author of "Knockout Presentations." "Meanwhile, if his eyes bore into yours as he's talking, 37 he might be trying to intimidate you." But a smoldering gaze -- you know what that looks like -- 38 means he's immensely fond of you.

    His Speaking Style

    If your man moves his mouth a mile a minute, 39 you're with a spontaneous, high-energy guy who may be a little too self-absorbed. "Fast talkers get so wrapped up in making a good impression that they don't pay attention to their audience," says DiResta. Slow talkers 40 typically play it safe. "The way they deliberate every word before it comes out of their mouth is indicative of how they approach life: They look before they leap." So although you shouldn't expect a lot of surprises, at least you'll know he means what he says.

    Things You'll Only Learn With Time

    Your speedy profiling skills won't reveal these tidbits from psychotherapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of "Calling in 'The One'."

    How loyal he'll be: Wait and see if you're shown the same allegiance as his buds are.

    If he's a man of his word: Will he really keep those promises he made to you early on?

    His little quirks: Time reveals the small details that really make a person tick.

    If his parents' split haunts him: His broken home may have issued him some big-time emotional baggage.

    你不必為了了解他的底細(xì)而與他交往6個(gè)月。 掌握正確的線索， 你可以在10分鐘內(nèi)迅速對(duì)他作出評(píng)估。 Rita Benasutti博士， 精神治療師， 專(zhuān)攻伴侶問(wèn)題研究， 說(shuō)"男人的言行 -- 特別是你在他不特意給你留下好印象而防備松懈的時(shí)候看到的那些 （或者是他沒(méi)有注意到你在） -- 能在很大程度上說(shuō)明他的品性與人格特點(diǎn)，" 為了幫助你對(duì)剛剛認(rèn)識(shí)的他進(jìn)行解碼， Cosmo 專(zhuān)門(mén)找來(lái)了一組專(zhuān)家來(lái)告訴你如何在短時(shí)間內(nèi)評(píng)估他的言行，并開(kāi)發(fā)他的男友潛質(zhì)。

    他最?lèi)?ài)的運(yùn)動(dòng)

    "如果他喜歡個(gè)人運(yùn)動(dòng)， 比如跑步或游泳， 1那么他會(huì)覺(jué)得獨(dú)立的生活是種享受并喜歡長(zhǎng)時(shí)間獨(dú)處" ,《男人像魚(yú)： 女性捕男人須知》一書(shū)作者，人際關(guān)系導(dǎo)師 Steve Nakamoto說(shuō)。 鐘愛(ài)主流團(tuán)隊(duì)運(yùn)動(dòng)，比如足球， 籃球， 棒球等，的男人， 2 則往往有相當(dāng)強(qiáng)的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)意識(shí)--無(wú)論是在運(yùn)動(dòng)場(chǎng)上或是在他們生活的點(diǎn)滴之中， 并且他們喜歡跟同好者們終日混在一起。 至于那些根本不喜歡運(yùn)動(dòng)的男人， 3 "他們能夠獨(dú)立思考， 而且通常比較感性。"

    他和朋友維持了多久關(guān)系

    一個(gè)從10歲開(kāi)始交的朋友始終都屬于同一個(gè)社交群體的男人可以毫不猶豫地說(shuō) 4 忠誠(chéng)是他的長(zhǎng)處之一。 但 "你最好別討厭現(xiàn)在你所看到的， 因?yàn)樗�不怎么擅長(zhǎng)改變自己" 《聰明約會(huì)》一書(shū)作者，約會(huì)導(dǎo)師Liz H. Kelly說(shuō)， "另外就是耐心點(diǎn)， 因?yàn)槟愫茈y在短時(shí)間內(nèi)贏得他的信任" 如果你的約會(huì)對(duì)象的好朋友來(lái)自他生活中的各個(gè)時(shí)期和場(chǎng)合-- 比如大學(xué)、體育館、工作，大膽地把他拽去你表哥的婚禮吧。 5 "他能很輕易的與陌生人閑談，適應(yīng)新環(huán)境"

    信用卡VS現(xiàn)金

    喜歡出示那張塑料卡片的男人 6 對(duì)身份地位有較強(qiáng)的渴望。Rob Ronin, 心理學(xué)博士，持牌臨床心理學(xué)家，注冊(cè)金融顧問(wèn)如是說(shuō)："他可能有較強(qiáng)的成功欲望和自信心。他最終會(huì)達(dá)到他的財(cái)富目標(biāo)的" "如果他總是以現(xiàn)金付款， 7 那么他的生活是自給自足的，獨(dú)立的。" 這使得他很難被逼入絕境。 那如果他的錢(qián)包干癟癟的呢？ 8 這表明他很依賴他人對(duì)他的照顧

    他的惡習(xí)

    喜歡賭博的男人9愛(ài)冒險(xiǎn)，這給他們帶來(lái)極大的快感。 "他們往往過(guò)于樂(lè)觀地認(rèn)為他們能大賺一比，以至于他們很難面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)" 醫(yī)學(xué)博士，美國(guó)納什維爾的范德比爾特大學(xué)精神病學(xué)副教授 Mitchell Parks如是說(shuō)。 "頑固煙民們10 往往會(huì)顯得焦慮不安。" Parks博士說(shuō)。 因此如何一再讓他們安定下來(lái)是個(gè)不小的問(wèn)題。 而如果他是個(gè)酒鬼，那么 11 他可能習(xí)慣將他的不安全感隱藏在他亢奮而含糊的言語(yǔ)中。

    他的交流方式

    如果你的對(duì)象更多地選擇給你發(fā)郵件，而不是打電話，12 那么他有可能是個(gè)難咬開(kāi)的堅(jiān)果。圣迭戈州立大學(xué)心理學(xué)教授Jeff Bryson博士， 說(shuō) "假如他的交流方式始終能為他留有修改的余地， 這可能是他不愿意展示真實(shí)自我的信號(hào)。" 網(wǎng)聊上癮者則 13 渴望你能夠不斷地關(guān)注他， 并需要時(shí)不時(shí)地確認(rèn)你不會(huì)離他而去。 而至于那些電話狂？ 14 他可能有些許的保守， 并通常依照教條行事。 然而， 在Bryson看來(lái)， "他并不懼怕親昵的行為。"

    他更偏好你的何種穿著

    如果你最喜歡的T畜恤或者可愛(ài)的小吊帶裙比起突顯身型的黑衣更能使他動(dòng)心， 則15 你約會(huì)的對(duì)象是個(gè)對(duì)自己欲望感官直率的隨和的男人。他喜歡跟他一樣隨和的， 并不十分精細(xì)保養(yǎng)的的小妞。 而那些容易傾慕于打扮得光彩照人的女人的男人 16 通常把個(gè)人名望看得極重。 "他或能賺大錢(qián)， 但與此同時(shí)這（名望）在他生活中所占的比重未免太大了。" 洛杉磯臨床心理學(xué)家 Nancy Irwin博士如是說(shuō)。 而希望有一個(gè)如卡門(mén)·伊萊克特拉一般撩人女孩挽住他臂膀的男人則 17 總是希望自尊心能夠得到滿足。 "他很重視別人對(duì)他的贊賞和羨慕"

    他是如何對(duì)待交通問(wèn)題的

    如果他總是在車(chē)從中穿來(lái)穿去， 緊緊地貼住別人的車(chē)屁股， 并常常盯住其他車(chē)主看， 18 "很明顯， 愛(ài)挑釁別人是他麻煩之處，" 夏威夷大學(xué)心理學(xué)教授， 《路怒癥與攻擊性駕駛》一書(shū)作者Leon James博士說(shuō)。而強(qiáng)硬的個(gè)性則使他在工作中出人頭地， 與這樣一個(gè)好爭(zhēng)辯的人交往可能不是件易事。如果他在交通癱瘓的時(shí)候還能抱守清明， 19 "他往往有較強(qiáng)的自制力。"

    他在餐館里點(diǎn)什么菜

    常點(diǎn)傳統(tǒng)菜式的男人20 一般沉穩(wěn)，可靠， 形象導(dǎo)師 ,《氣質(zhì)與儀表：31天改頭換面》一書(shū)作者Dianne Daniels說(shuō)："但他同樣也會(huì)有一點(diǎn)保守。" 如果你的約會(huì)對(duì)象點(diǎn)的是不是本地菜， 21 "和你在一起的人很愛(ài)跟著感覺(jué)走，而且他容易厭煩一成不變的現(xiàn)狀。"

    潔癖？ or 不拘小節(jié)？

    有種男人把臭襪子扔進(jìn)洗衣筐； 而有些男人則把他們的襪子按照顏色分類(lèi)。 22 "這種男人過(guò)于挑剔而無(wú)法享受生活，" Daniels 解釋道， "他同時(shí)也期望你像他一般整潔。" 輕微邋遢的人 23 則相對(duì)更放松和開(kāi)明。 但如果在他的浴室里連個(gè)板刷都沒(méi)有， 24 他要不是不夠成熟就是懶惰在作祟。

    最?lèi)?ài)的電視節(jié)目

    留意：如果他坐在電視前一個(gè)接一個(gè)地看電視劇。 25 "他是一個(gè)愛(ài)用幽默來(lái)化解壓力的人，" 電視制作人 Hedda Muskat, 《約會(huì)機(jī)密： 單身者如何獲得一個(gè)快樂(lè)、富有激情且有益的社交生活》一書(shū)作者說(shuō)。 這可能是件好事， 因?yàn)樗�不�?huì)對(duì)你懷有怨恨或者失去冷靜。但在此同時(shí)，嚴(yán)肅地與他交流可能不是件易事，這通常讓人沮喪不已。 "你越想跟他討論些正事， 他越發(fā)地閃爍其詞，" Muskat說(shuō)。一個(gè)泡在沙發(fā)中鐘愛(ài)CSI（犯罪現(xiàn)場(chǎng)調(diào)查）一類(lèi)電視的偵探迷則 26 擅長(zhǎng)推理分析并擁有縝密的思維。"一直使他引以為豪的是他問(wèn)題解決能力和他總是能夠在你需要的時(shí)候適時(shí)地出現(xiàn)。"Muskat如是說(shuō)。

    他在家中的排行

    "長(zhǎng)子 27 通常是可靠的、愿意承擔(dān)責(zé)任的人，" 《合意的男人》一書(shū)作者Nancy Fagan 說(shuō)。如果你的"寶貝"同樣也是他們家最小的寶貝， 那么 28 "他通常富有創(chuàng)造力，并且有些叛逆。" 至于那些排行居中的男人29 "他很敏感，并希望別人關(guān)注他。"

    他是怎么對(duì)待 PDA的？

    當(dāng)你們外出見(jiàn)人的時(shí)候，如果他總是跟你形影不離 30 "他若不是想要拿你來(lái)炫耀就是想不斷跟別人說(shuō)你是他的， 而這兩種表現(xiàn)都是他不自信的表現(xiàn)。" Nakamoto說(shuō)。 一個(gè)不喜歡在公眾面前有肢體接觸的人則31 無(wú)法把握住他對(duì)你的感覺(jué)或是你對(duì)他的感覺(jué)"公開(kāi)親昵（PDA）是你們親密無(wú)間的標(biāo)志。"Nakamoto說(shuō)， "如果他對(duì)你們的感情沒(méi)有堅(jiān)定的信念，他會(huì)與你在肢體上保持一定距離。"

    開(kāi)車(chē)的是你還是他？

    "一個(gè)不自發(fā)承擔(dān)開(kāi)車(chē)義務(wù)的男人32 一般或多或少地讓你來(lái)掌控你們之間的關(guān)系。" Kelly 說(shuō)。 一個(gè)牢牢抓住方向盤(pán)不放的人--甚至在你的車(chē)?yán)镆彩沁@樣-- 33 至多是個(gè)可愛(ài)的守舊分子，而在最壞的情況下，他可能是個(gè)有控制癖的人。

    他的理毛方式

    一個(gè)在你們經(jīng)過(guò)的每個(gè)櫥窗都要看一眼自己形象的人很明顯是愛(ài)慕虛榮的。 但有趣的是， 34 這同樣也是他意志堅(jiān)決想要成功的表現(xiàn)。 "對(duì)于這種人來(lái)說(shuō)形象就是一切。" Sheenah Hankin博士，《徹底的自信》一書(shū)作者說(shuō)， "他將這看作是自尊和成功的一種評(píng)估與量度。" 35 低調(diào)， 沒(méi)這么驕傲的人通常不會(huì)有勃勃的野心與志向。 "但他在情感上更容易與你交融，因?yàn)樗麤](méi)有那么膚淺。" Hankin說(shuō)， "內(nèi)在的東西對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō)更為重要。"

    如果他看著你的眼睛

    "一個(gè)在跟你交流時(shí)總不看著你的眼睛的人 36 可能不怎么值得你信任。" 演講導(dǎo)師Diane DiResta, 《動(dòng)人的報(bào)告》一書(shū)作者說(shuō)， "同時(shí)， 如果他在講話的時(shí)候嚴(yán)厲地盯住你眼睛看，那么 37 可能是想震懾住你。" 但如果他的眼神是炙熱的-- 你應(yīng)該知道是什么樣子-- 38 意味著他對(duì)你極其中意

    他的說(shuō)話方式

    如果你的他說(shuō)話時(shí)嘴動(dòng)得飛快，那么 39 你在和一個(gè)率真的， 充滿活力的人在一起，但他可能會(huì)點(diǎn)太過(guò)關(guān)注他自己的事情 ."說(shuō)話快的人太想要給別人展現(xiàn)一個(gè)好的形象了，以至于他們忽略了聽(tīng)眾們存在。" DiResta說(shuō)。 說(shuō)話慢的人則40 保險(xiǎn)許多。"他們對(duì)每個(gè)將要從嘴里蹦出來(lái)的的字都仔細(xì)斟酌一番，這便是他們對(duì)待生活方式的一種象征：他們?cè)谛袆?dòng)之前一定會(huì)看清情況。"因此盡管你可能不會(huì)在他身上期待太多驚喜，至少你能夠知道他會(huì)說(shuō)到做到。

    只有時(shí)間長(zhǎng)了你才能了解到的東西

    你的快速識(shí)人能力不能使心理治療師，《找到對(duì)的"TA"》一書(shū)作者Katherine Woodward,列舉的以下特性原形畢露

    他會(huì)對(duì)你忠誠(chéng)么？： 他會(huì)不會(huì)自始至終地對(duì)你保持忠貞，讓我們拭目以待。

    他會(huì)不會(huì)說(shuō)一套做一套？： 他會(huì)兌現(xiàn)他早些時(shí)候?qū)δ阕龀龅某兄Z么？

    他的怪癖： 時(shí)間會(huì)揭露他的一些微小但足以讓他變得令人討厭的細(xì)節(jié)。

    他父母的離異是否在他心中留下陰影： 他破碎的家庭可能會(huì)給他背上一個(gè)巨大的情感包袱。