While explaining stress management to an audience, the lecturer raised a glass of water and asked ‘How heavy is this glass of water?’ Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.”

“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.”

“So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.”

Here are 5 simple ways to increase your peace of mind:

1. Do your most daunting task first thing in the morning

It’s tempting to start your day with easy tasks. Don’t. Pushing a daunting task back is like holding a glass of water in an outstretched arm. At first nothing happens, but if you do it for hours or even days, you will soon feel the stress. Do the most annoying task first thing in the morning, and enjoy increased productivity and peace of mind for the rest of the day.

2. Let go of things you don’t control

You make plans to go outside with friends. But at the last minute, it starts raining. What’s your reaction?

Some people upset and angry, and find the nearest person and start complaining to them. “It’s not FAIR that it’s raining. This _always_ happens to me!…”

That’s not going to accomplish anything - the rain won’t stop just because you throw a tantrum. *The rain doesn’t care.* So make the best of the situation. What I do in such situation is go for a quick walk in the park (because rain has its own awesomeness), or just lie in bed reading a good Terry Pratchett book, listening to the rain beating on my window.

Make the most of what you do control, and don’t worry about what you don’t.

3. Don’t worry about what others are thinking

I used to be very self-conscious about my dancing. I would rarely go out with my friends, and even if I did, I wouldn’t dance, instead just standing awkwardly by the side, because I was worried of what others would think.

Then, one day in high school, I decided that enough was enough. So the next time I went out with my friends, I just went to the dance floor, and danced like nobody was watching. And the funny thing was - nobody cared. In fact, people only liked me MORE, because I was having fun.

Don’t worry about what others are thinking of you - most likely they’re too busy wondering what others are thinking of them.

4. List 3 things you love about your situation right now

I first shared this technique with the Positivity Blog readers in my post The Plague of Happiness Ever After (it’s got a dragon and everything in it, read it!)

Just list 3 simple things about any part of your life that you love. Like “3 simple things I love about the room I’m in right now”, or “3 simple things I love about this week”, or anything else.

This is a great technique if you’re ever bored while stuck in traffic, or waiting in the grocery store checkout lane. You can immediately transform boredom into happiness and peace of mind!

5. Walk to a window, look outside, and take a single deep breath

I got this technique from the Zen master Mary Jaksch. Just walk to a window, look outside, and then take a single deep breath, focusing only on that breath and nothing else in the whole world. This technique sounds extremely simple, but you won’t believe how much it can instantaneously increase your peace of mind.

And because this is the last tip, you can try it immediately when you finish reading this blog post. Just walk to a window, look outside, and take a single deep breath, focusing on the air going in and out of your lungs, and nothing else.

   当向听众解释压力管理的时候，讲师拿起一杯水问道：这杯水有多重？20克到500克众说纷纭。

讲师回答说：实际有多重并不重要，这要看我拿着它的时间。一分钟，没有问题。如果一个小时呢，我的右臂就会疼痛。再进一步，一天，你应该给我叫救护车了。当然每种情况下杯子的重量是相同的，但是我拿的越久，它就显得越沉。

他继续说道：这就像压力管理，如果总是怀揣沉重的负担，随着压力越来越大，迟早我们会崩溃掉。

正如这杯水一样，你需要放下它休息一下，调整自己，继续前行。

所以，今晚在各位回家之前，放下工作上的负担。不要把它带到家里去，你可以明天继续肩负。无论你背负怎样的负担，如果可能，暂时忘掉它们。

这里有5个简单的方法，能为你带来平静的心情。

1.将最艰巨的任务放在早晨。

人们总是倾向于用简单的任务开始一天的工作，别这样做。将艰巨的任务拖到后面就像你伸开手臂举着杯子，开始没什么，但是随着时间的推移，你会很快感觉到压力。将最艰巨的任务放在早晨，这样你就能享受到效率提升及一天中剩下时间的平静带来的惬意。

2.放开你不能控制的事情

你可朋友计划好外出，但是最后关头下雨了，这时你会怎么想？

有些人会因此而失望、愤怒，然后跟周围的人抱怨：这不公平，为什么这种事总是让我遇到！

没什么可抱怨的，雨不会因为你抱怨而停止，老天才不在乎。这种情况下我会到公园里散步（因为雨也很有魅力），或者躺在床上一边读Terry Pratchett的书，一边听着雨水打在窗户上的声音。

将你能掌控的事情做到最好，但也不用太在意不能左右的事情。

3.不必担心别人的想法

我曾经对自己的舞技感到非常羞愧，因此很少与朋友外出。即使出去我也不跳舞，仅仅笨笨的站在一边。因为我担心别人嘲笑。

然而有一天我在学校里重重的下了决心，决定要改变这一现状。下一次和朋友们出去的时候，我走进了舞池，旁若无人的跳舞。有意思的是并没有人注意到我。实际上他们还想看我再跳，因为觉得我有意思。

不要担心别怎么看你，可能他们还在担心别人会怎么看他们呢

4.列出3件你喜爱的事情

我是在Positivity Blog中的The Plague of Happiness Ever After文章中第一次和读者分享这个技巧的。

仅仅是列出生活中你喜爱的3件简单的事情，如：这个屋子我最喜欢的3个地方，或这个星期我最喜欢的3件事，或是其他的什么。

在你堵车或排队而感到无聊的时候这个技巧就会显得尤为有用，你能立即把无聊的感觉一扫而光，取而代之的是幸福和平静。

5 走向窗前望向窗外，深呼吸。

我从禅师Mary Jaksch那里学到的这个技巧。仅仅是走向窗前望向窗外，深呼吸。将注意力集中到这次呼吸上并忘掉其他的一切。这听起来及其简单，但是你很难想象这样做能立即给你带来平静的心情。

这也是最后一个技巧，你可以在读完这篇文章后马上试一试。忘掉一切，体会空气在肺里的进出。