Couple who think they are a perfect match are more likely to split up, it was claimed yesterday. So-called ‘soulmates’ find rows harder to get over than those who see relationships as a journey on which they talk through their problems.

昨日一項(xiàng)新的研究稱那些認(rèn)為自己與對(duì)方完美契合的情侶們其實(shí)更容易分手。這些所謂的'靈魂伴侶'更難攜手共度困難，而那些認(rèn)為情侶關(guān)系就是一場(chǎng)解決問(wèn)題的旅程的人則在這方面表現(xiàn)得更好。

Professor Spike Lee, of Toronto University, and Professor Norbert Schwarz, of the University of Southern California, asked long-term couples questions relating to ‘unity’ or ‘journey’, and got them to recall conflicts and evaluate their relationship. Those with a ‘unity state of mind’ found recalling conflicts made them feel less happy with their relationship.

多倫多大學(xué)的教授 Spike Lee 和南加州大學(xué)的教授Norbert Schwarz 詢問(wèn)了一些長(zhǎng)期伴侶他們是‘契合派’還是‘旅程派’，并且讓他們回想以前的沖突并評(píng)估兩人之間的關(guān)系。‘契合派’們發(fā)現(xiàn)當(dāng)他們回想起過(guò)去的沖突的時(shí)候會(huì)對(duì)他們的伴侶感到更加的不悅。

Professor Lee said: 'Our findings corroborate prior research showing people who implicitly think of relationships as perfect unity between soulmates have worse relationships than people who implicitly think of relationships as a journey of growing and working things out. 'Apparently, different ways of talking and thinking about love relationship lead to different ways of evaluating it.'

Lee 教授說(shuō)道：“我們的試驗(yàn)證實(shí)了之前研究的正確性，即比起那些認(rèn)為自己和伴侶在一起是不斷成長(zhǎng)并解決問(wèn)題的人來(lái)說(shuō)，認(rèn)為自己和對(duì)方是完美契合的靈魂伴侶的人有著更差的情侶關(guān)系。很明顯，對(duì)于情侶關(guān)系的不同討論和想法會(huì)導(dǎo)致人們對(duì)于這段關(guān)系有著不同的評(píng)估方法。”

It was the Greek philosopher Aristotle who said 'love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.' But the study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology said this outlook can be damaging. People speak and ponder about love in apparently limitless ways but underlying such diversity are some common themes. For example, some use words like ‘made for each other,’ and ‘she is my other half’, seen by scientists as ‘the perfect unity’ frame. But others prefer ‘the journey’ idea, using expressions such as ‘look how far we have come,’ and ‘we have been through all these things together’.

希臘哲學(xué)家亞里士多德曾說(shuō)過(guò)：“愛(ài)情是兩個(gè)不同的身體里住著同一個(gè)靈魂。”這項(xiàng)發(fā)表在 《實(shí)驗(yàn)社會(huì)心理學(xué)》雜志上的試驗(yàn)則表明這種觀點(diǎn)其實(shí)對(duì)于情侶是有害的。人們討論和考慮愛(ài)情的方式多種多樣但卻又有一些共同的主題，例如，那些說(shuō)“天造地設(shè)”或者“她就是我的另一半”的人便是科學(xué)家眼中的‘契合派’。但‘旅程派’的人更愿意用類似于“看看我們已經(jīng)在一起多久了”以及“我們一起度過(guò)了這些難關(guān)”的話語(yǔ)來(lái)表達(dá)。

As predicted, recalling conflicts leads people to feel less satisfied with their relationship, but only with the unity frame in mind, not the journey. Recalling celebrations makes people satisfied with their relationship regardless of how they think about it.

正如我們想的那樣，回想起過(guò)去的沖突會(huì)讓人們對(duì)于自己的這段關(guān)系變得不滿意，但這僅限于‘契合派’的人，并非‘旅程派’的人。而兩派的人在回想起值得慶祝的事情的時(shí)候則都會(huì)對(duì)他們的情侶關(guān)系感到滿意。

In a two follow up experiments, the researchers invoked the unity against journey frame in even subtler, more incidental ways. For example, people were asked to identify pairs of geometric shapes to form a full circle, activating unity, or draw a line that gets from point A to B through a maze, activating journey.

在兩個(gè)跟進(jìn)試驗(yàn)中，研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)契合派與旅程派有著更微妙，更偶然的差異。例如，識(shí)別一些幾何圖形來(lái)組成一個(gè)圓圈是‘契合派’的強(qiáng)項(xiàng)，而從迷宮中劃出一條從A到B的路線則是‘旅程派’的強(qiáng)項(xiàng)。

Such non linguistic, merely pictorial cues were sufficient to change the way people evaluated relationships. Again, conflicts hurt relationship satisfaction just with the unity frame in mind. They added: 'It is a journey. You will feel better now, and you will do better down the road.'

這種非言語(yǔ)的，僅僅是一些圖形線索就足以改變?nèi)藗儗?duì)于關(guān)系的看法。還有，矛盾會(huì)導(dǎo)致‘契合派’的人對(duì)自己的關(guān)系感到不滿。研究人員補(bǔ)充到：“伴侶關(guān)系就是一場(chǎng)旅程，你現(xiàn)在就會(huì)覺(jué)得很好，而且你以后也會(huì)做得更好。”