Real character development begins with the humble recognition that we are not in charge, that principles ultimately govern. I don’t talk much about ethics and values because to me those words imply situational behaviors, subjective beliefs, social mores, cultural norms, or relative truths. I prefer to talk about universal principles and natural laws that are more absolute. You may think that it’s just a matter of semantics and that when most people talk about values they really mean these universal principles. But I see a clear difference between principles and values. Hitler was value-driven; Saddam Hussein is value-driven. Every person and organization is driven by what they value, bt they aren’t necessarily ethical or principle-centered.

The Humility of Principles

The key to quality of life is to be centered on principles. We’re not in control; principles are in control. We’re arrogant when we think we are in control. Yes, we may control our actions, but not the consequences of our actions. Those are controlled by principles, by natural laws. Building character and creating quality of life is a function of aligning our beliefs and behaviors with universal principles. These principles are impersonal, external, factual, objective, and self-evident. They operate regardless of our awareness of them, or our obedience to them.

If your current lifestyle is not in alignment with these principles, then you might trade a value-based map for a principle-centered compass. When you recognize that external verities and realities ultimately govern, you might willingly subordinate your values to them and align your roles and goals, plans, and activities with them. But doing so often takes a crisis: your company’s downsizing; your job’s on the line; your relationship with the boss goes sour; you lose a major account; your marriage is threatened; your financial problems peak; or you’re told you have just a few months to live. In the absence of such a catalytic crisis, we tend to live in numbed complacency so busy doing good, easy, or routine things that we don’t even stop to ask ourselves if we’re doing what really matters. The good, then, becomes the enemy of the best.

Humility is the mother of all virtues: the humble in spirit progress and are blessed because they willingly submit to higher powers and try to live in harmony with natural laws and universal principles. Courage is the father of all virtues; we need great courage to lead our lives by correct principles and to have integrity in the moment of choice. When we set up our own self-generated or socially-validated value systems and then develop our missions and goals based on what we value, we tend to become laws unto ourselves, proud and independent. Pride hopes to impress; humility seeks to bless. Just because we value a thing doesn’t mean that having it will enhance our quality of life. No “quality movement” in government, business, or education will succeed unless based on “true north” principles. And yet we see leaders who cling to their current style based on self-selected values and bad habits even as their “ship” is sinking when they could be floating safely on the life raft of principles.

Nothing sinks people faster in their careers than arrogance. Arrogance shouts “I know best.” In the uniform of arrogance, we fumble and falter — pride comes and goes before the fall. But dressed in humility, we make progress. As the character Indiana Jones learned in The Last Crusade, “The penitent man will pass.” In pride, we often sow one thing and expect to reap another. Many of our paradigms and the processes and habits that grow out of them never produce the results we expect because they are based on illusions, advertising slogans, program-of-the-month training, and personality-based success strategies. Quality of life can’t grow out of illusion. So how do we align our lives with “true north” realities that govern quality of life?

Four Human Endowments

As human beings, we have four unique endowments: self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination that not only separate us from the animal world, but also help us to distinguish between reality and illusion, to transform the clock into a compass, and to align our lives with the extrinsic realities that govern quality of life.

Self-awareness enables us to examine our paradigms, to look at our glasses as well as through them, to think about our thoughts, to become aware of the psychic programs that are in us, and to enlarge the separation between stimulus and response. Self-aware, we can take responsibility for reprogramming or rescripting ourselves out of the stimulus-response mode. Many movements in psychology, education, and training are focused on an enlarged self-consciousness. Most popular self-help literature also focuses upon this capacity. Self-awareness, however, is only one of our unique endowments.

Conscience puts us in touch with something within us even deeper than our thoughts and something outside us more reliable than our values. It connects us with the wisdom of the ages and the wisdom of the heart. It’s an internal guidance system that allows us to sense when we act or even contemplate acting in a way that’s contrary to our deepest values and “true north” principles.

Conscience is universal. By helping companies and individuals develop mission statements, I have learned that what is most personal is most general. No matter what people’s religions, cultures, or backgrounds are, their mission statements all deal with the same basic human needs to live (physical and financial), to love (social), to learn (educational), and to leave a legacy (spiritual).

Independent will is our capacity to act, the power to transcend our paradigms, to swim upstream, to re-write our scripts, to act based on principles rather than reacting based on emotions, moods, or circumstances. While environmental or genetic influences may be very powerful, they do not control us. We’re not victims. We’re not the product of our past. We are the product of our choices. We are “response-able,” meaning we are able to choose our response. This power to choose is a reflection of our independent will.

Creative imagination empowers us to create beyond our present reality. It enables us to write personal mission statements, set goals, plan meetings, or visualize ourselves living our mission statements even in the most challenging circumstances. We can imagine any scenario we want for the future. If our imagination has to go through the straightjacket of our memory, what is imagination for? Memory is limited. It’s finite; it deals with the past. Imagination is infinite; it deals with the present and the future, with potentiality, with vision and mission and goals with anything that is not now but can be. The man-on-the-street approach to success is to work harder, to give it the “old college try.” But unless willpower is matched with creative imagination, these efforts will be weak and ineffective.

Nurturing Our Unique Gifts

Enhancing these endowments requires us to nurture and exercise them continuously. Sharpening the saw once a week or once a month just isn’t enough. It’s too superficial. It’s like a meal. Yesterday’s meal will not satisfy today’s hunger. Last Sunday’s big meal won’t prepare me for this Thursday’s ethical challenge. I will be much better prepared if I meditate every morning and visualize myself dealing with that challenge with authenticity, openness, honesty, and with as much wisdom as I can bring to bear on it.

Here are four ways to nurture your unique endowments:

Nurture self-awareness by keeping a personal journal. Keeping a personal journal — a daily in-depth analysis and evaluation of your experiences — is a high-leverage activity that increases self-awareness and enhances all the endowments and the synergy among them.

Educate your conscience by learning, listening, and responding. Most of us work and live in environments that are rather hostile to the development of conscience. To hear the conscience clearly often requires us to be reflective or meditative, a condition we rarely choose or find. We’re inundated by activity, noise, conditioning, media messages, and flawed paradigms that dull our sensitivity to that quiet inner voice that would teach us of “true north” principles and our own degree of congruency with them. I’ve heard executives say that they can’t win this battle of conscience because expediencies require lies, cover-ups, deceit, or game playing. “That’s just part of the job,” they say. I disagree. I think such rationalization undermines trust within their cultures. If you have back-room manipulation and bad mouthing, you will have a low-trust culture.

A life of total integrity is the only one worth striving for. Granted, it’s a struggle. Some trusted advisors, PR agents, accountants, and legal counselors might say, “This will be political suicide,” or “This will be bad for our image, and so let’s cover up or lie.” You have to look at each case on its own merit. No case is black and white. It takes real judgment to know what you should do. You may feel that you operate “between a rock and a hard place.” Still, with a well-educated conscience or internal compass, you will rarely, if ever, be in a situation where you only have one bad option. You will always have choices. If you wisely exercise your unique endowments, some moral option will be open to you. So much depends on how well you educate your conscience, your internal compass. When my kids were in athletics, they paid the price to get their bodies coordinated with their minds. You’ve got to do the same with your own conscience regularly. The more internal uncertainty you feel, the larger the grey areas will be. You will always have some grey areas, particularly at the extremity of your education and experience. And to grow, you need to go to that xtremity and learn to make those choices based on what you honestly believe to be the right thing to do.

Nurture independent will by making and keeping promises. One of the best ways to strengthen our independent will is to make and keep promises. Each time we do, we make deposits in our personal integrity account the amount of trust we have in ourselves, in our ability to walk our talk. To build personal integrity, start by making and keeping small promises. Take it a step and a day at a time.

Develop creative imagination through visualization.

Visualization, a high-leverage mental exercise used by world-class athletes and performers, may also be used to improve your quality of life. For example, you might visualize yourself in some circumstance that would normally create discomfort or pain. In your mind’s eye, instead of seeing yourself react as you normally do, see yourself acting on the basis of the principles and values in your mission statement. The best way to predict your future is to create it.

Roots Yield Fruits

With the humility that comes from being principle-centered, we can better learn from the past, have hope for the future, and act with confidence, not arrogance, in the present. Arrogance is the lack of self-awareness; blindness; an illusion; a false form of self-confidence; and a false sense that we’re somehow above the laws of life. Real confidence is anchored in a quiet assurance that if we act based on principles, we will produce quality-of-life results. It’s confidence born sp; of character and competence.

Our security is not based on our possessions, positions, credentials, or on comparisons with others; rather, it flows from our own integrity to “true north” principles. I confess that I struggle with total integrity and do not always “walk my talk.” I find that it’s easier to talk and teach than to practice what I preach. I’ve come to realize that I must commit to having total integrity to be integrated around a set of correct principles. I’ve observed that if people never get centered on principles at some time in their lives, they will take the expedient political-social path to success and let their ethics be defined by the situation. They will say, “business is business,” meaning they play the game by their own rules. They may even rationalize major transgressions in the name of business, in spite of having a lofty mission statement.

Only by centering on “timeless” principles and then living by them can we enjoy sustained moral, physical, social, and financial wellness.

真正的人格培養(yǎng)是從最原始的認知開始的。然而對于這種認知我們無法做到自控，而遵守原則才能最終做到有效的個人管理。我在這兒不多談價值觀，因為我認為這些說法都暗含著情境中的行為方式，主觀信仰，文化符號或是相關(guān)聯(lián)的真理之類的東西。我更愿意談一談世界上最普遍的原則和更絕對一些的自然法則。你也許會覺得這只是個語義的問題：大多數(shù)人眼里的價值觀就是這些普遍原則啊。但我覺得原則和價值觀之間有著明顯的差別。希特勒是價值觀機器，薩達姆也是價值觀取向的。每一個人和組織都是為他們所看重的價值觀所驅(qū)動的，然而這些都不是以原則為本的。

謙虛之原則

過高質(zhì)量生活的關(guān)鍵是以原則為本的。然而我們做不到自制，只有原則本身是自控的。當我們覺得自己完全把握自己的時候往往會顯得自高自大。不錯，我們可能控制我們的行為，但卻不能控制我們行為的結(jié)果。而那些正是被原則和自然法則控制的。發(fā)展人格和創(chuàng)造高質(zhì)量生活就是讓自己的信仰，行為和普遍原則相一致。這些原則是非個人的，外在的，客觀的，真實并且是不言而喻的。不管我們意識到他們的存在與否，或遵守這些原則與否，這些原則都在發(fā)揮他們的作用。如果你現(xiàn)在的生活方式和這些原則不相符，你可能用的是一張價值取向的地圖，卻拿著一個原則為本的方向盤。當你意識到外在的準則和現(xiàn)實最終會決定結(jié)果的時候，你就會讓自己的價值觀歸屬于他們，并讓自己的角色，目標，計劃和活動都與之相一致。然而這樣做會冒風險：你的公司在縮水；你的工作可能不保；你同老板的關(guān)系變糟；你丟了一個大單子；你的婚姻遭遇危機；你的財務(wù)問題爆滿；或者還有人告訴你只有幾個月可以活。在沒有這些危機之前，我們往往生活在一種麻木的狀態(tài)下忙著做著對的，輕松的，常規(guī)的事，卻從不會停下來問問自己所做的事情是否真的事關(guān)緊要。接著這些“對”的事兒就會和“普遍原則”發(fā)生矛盾了。

謙遜是所有美德的母親：謙虛的人格在精神上得到成長，且受到神的庇護，這是因為他們愿意服從更高的智慧并且同自然法則（普遍原則）和諧相處。勇氣是一切美德的父親：我們需要巨大的勇氣，在需要做出選擇的時刻誠實地選擇正確的原則。當我們建立了自發(fā)的亦或是社會賦予的價值體系，并隨后在我們的價值觀基礎(chǔ)上去開展活動，實現(xiàn)目標，我們就成了充滿自豪感且獨立的自然法則本身了。自豪的人影響眾人，謙遜的人尊重為眾人帶來福氣。我們看重一件事情并不代表擁有它就能提高我們的生活質(zhì)量。除非政府，企業(yè)，教育部門都以這個“指南針”原則為本，否則他們不會成功。另外我們也看到很多領(lǐng)導(dǎo)甚至在他們開的那條“船”已經(jīng)在下沉了的時候，仍然堅持自己的那套價值觀和壞習慣，而不知道他們本可以通過“原則為本”的救生艇就能安全地從水中浮上來。

沒什么比自高自大更快讓一個人在職場上走向失敗的了。自大的人高喊：只有我知道最多。在這種傲慢的外衣下，我們搖搖欲墜—驕傲自滿在失敗之前總是橫行霸道。然而謙遜的人就不一樣，謙虛讓人進步。就像奪寶奇兵之圣戰(zhàn)奇兵的印第安納瓊斯所說：悔悟的人會達成。驕傲自滿的時候我們常常會種瓜卻希望得豆。這種看世界的方式，程序還有習慣永遠都無法得到我們期待的結(jié)果。因為這些結(jié)果都是建立在虛幻，廣告詞，口頭訓練，或者性格成功策略上的。高質(zhì)量生活不可能從這些臆想當中獲得。那么我們?nèi)绾巫屪约旱纳�活和這個掌握生活質(zhì)量的原則相一致呢？

人的四個天賦

作為人，我們都有四個獨特的天賦：自覺，意識，獨立意志和創(chuàng)造性想象力，這些不僅讓我們和動物世界區(qū)分開來，還幫助我們辨別真實和虛幻；把鬧鐘變成羅盤；并使自己的生活和現(xiàn)實相一致。

鑒于我們往往透過“眼鏡”來看待周圍的事物，自覺可以讓我們檢索自己的范式，即看問題的方式，觀察我們的“眼鏡”，通過它檢視自己的思維方式，并對我們內(nèi)在的心理程序有所察覺，并且有意識地使我們把刺激和回應(yīng)區(qū)別開來。如果我們能自覺，我們就能跳出刺激－回應(yīng)的模式，而重新為自己撰寫劇本，重新編寫程序。很多心理學，教育學，培訓領(lǐng)域的發(fā)展就集中在加強自覺這個能力上。然而自覺只是我們獨特天賦中的一種。

意識讓我們同思維和一些比價值觀更可靠的東西做更深入的接觸。它將我們同各個時代的智慧，還有心靈的智慧聯(lián)接在一起。它是內(nèi)在的，并且可以讓我們感受到。即使我們的行動和我們最深層次的價值觀相沖突，我們依然可以憑借自我意識做出正確的選擇。意識是世界性的。我在幫公司和個人做行動計劃書的時候就認識到：越是個人的就越是最具有普遍性的。無論這個人的宗教信仰，文化，背景，他們的行動計劃書都要關(guān)乎最基本的人類需要，那就是：生活（健康和財務(wù)安全），愛（社會交往），學習（教育）和精神遺產(chǎn)。

獨立意志是我們行動的能力，也是轉(zhuǎn)變我們思維方式（范式）的力量。它是力爭上游，改寫自己劇本，以及實現(xiàn)從對情感，情緒，環(huán)境等變化的反應(yīng)轉(zhuǎn)變到以原則為行動準則的意志力。即使環(huán)境或是遺傳基因的影響很強大的時候，他們也控制不了我們。我們不再是受害者。我們也不再是過往的產(chǎn)物，我們是自我選擇的結(jié)果。我們變得有責任，也就是我們有能力選擇做出自己的回應(yīng)了。這個選擇的力量就是獨立意志力的寫照。

創(chuàng)造的想象力則可以讓我們創(chuàng)造超出我們現(xiàn)有現(xiàn)實的東西。我們可以通過它寫下個人行動計劃，目標，計劃會議，甚至可以在最艱難的情況下也可以設(shè)想我們就活在這個想象的空間里。我們可以想象任何我們想要的未來場景。如果我們的想象必須要經(jīng)過我們記憶的緊身衣，那我們還要想象力做什么？記憶是有限的，是確定的，它只關(guān)乎過去。想象是無限的，它和當下和將來有關(guān)，和可能性，和任何現(xiàn)在沒有但將來會有的遠景有關(guān)。我們說人在職場里打拼，要想成功只有更加努力工作。然而除非意志力加上創(chuàng)造性的想象力，否則這些努力也是微弱，且沒有效率的。

培養(yǎng)我們的獨特天賦

加強這些天賦能力需要我們不斷的培養(yǎng)和練習。一周或者一個月磨一次鋸子是不夠的。這就像是吃飯一樣。昨天吃的飯不能保證今天肚子不餓。上周日的大餐也不會讓我應(yīng)對好這周四的挑戰(zhàn)。如果我每天早晨做練習，設(shè)想自己帶著平靜，開放，誠懇的心態(tài)，還有我能在此之上獲得的智慧一起，我就會準備的更好些。

這里是四種培養(yǎng)天賦的方法：

自覺：記日記－－每天深入的分析和評估自己今天的經(jīng)歷，這是一種高效能提高自覺，加強能力和自己產(chǎn)生共鳴的一個活動。

意識：通過學習，聆聽，回應(yīng)來訓練自我意識。我們中的絕大多數(shù)人都工作生活在對意識發(fā)展極其惡劣的環(huán)境當中。要想清晰地聽到自我的意識常常需要我們進入沉思的狀態(tài)，這是一種我們很少嘗試，也很少發(fā)現(xiàn)的狀態(tài)。我們被淹沒在活動，嘈雜，各種環(huán)境，媒體信息和一些有缺陷的范式里，這些嘈雜使我們的知覺對本來平靜的內(nèi)心的聲音感到麻木。我聽過一些老總說他們沒法這樣訓練自我意識，因為權(quán)宜之計就需要謊言，欺騙，還有游戲。“那是工作的一部分。”他們都這樣說。我是不同意的。我認為這種理性損壞了他們文化中的誠信。如果你幕后操縱還傳壞話,你肯定有一個信任度很低的文化。

人最值得去追尋的是一種完全忠實的生活。這是一種斗爭。有些可信的咨詢師，代理商，會計，法律咨詢員可能會說：哦，這可是自殺啊。對咱們的形象可沒什么好處，我們還是藏起來，撒一下謊吧。但是你要從它本身的價值去看每一件事情。沒有任何事情是非黑即白的。你必須做出判斷，才能知道你該怎么做。你可能會覺得你是在兩難之間行事。但是你擁有好的自我意識和內(nèi)在方向感，你仍然能做出好的選擇。你總會有選擇的機會。如果你很聰明地訓練你的天賦能力，一些好的選擇就會向你敞開。而這些都取決于你是否很好地發(fā)覺了你的自我意識，即你的內(nèi)在方向盤。當我的小孩學體育的時候，他們會付出努力讓身體和思維結(jié)合起來。你也需要定期對你自己的意識做同樣的事。你感受到的內(nèi)在不穩(wěn)定感越多，你的灰色地帶就越大。你會一直有一些灰色地帶，尤其是在你的教育和經(jīng)歷的極限邊緣。而如果你要獲得成長就必須到那個極限去，并且學會用你真正相信正確的方式去做出選擇。

培養(yǎng)獨立意志力就是要做出承諾，并且遵守這些承諾。這是訓練意志力的最后方式。每當我們這樣做的時候，我們就在個人的誠信儲蓄罐里儲藏了這種我們與生俱來的信任感，并且增強了我們說自己話的能力。要建立個人誠信，首先從小承諾開始。一天一次，一步一個腳印地做起來。

發(fā)展創(chuàng)造性想象力要通過設(shè)想。這種高水平的腦力訓練被很多世界級的運動員，表演藝術(shù)家所采用，當然也可能可以用來改善你的生活質(zhì)量。比如：你可以想象自己在某些不舒服或者痛苦的環(huán)境當中。這時，透過你心靈的眼睛，你看到自己運用原則和價值觀來做出你的回應(yīng)，而不是你通常那樣：碰到不適就立刻反彈的狀況。預(yù)見未來的最好方式就是去創(chuàng)造它。

種瓜得瓜，種豆得豆

如果我們擁有以原則為本之謙虛的品格，我們就能更好地學習過去，對將來滿懷希望，感覺自信而不是自大。自大缺乏自覺，它無視周圍的事物。它也是一種虛幻，一種自以為自信的幻覺，還是一種以為自己凌駕于生活法則之上的錯覺。真正自信的人是平靜的，確信的。這樣的人確信如果以原則為本來為人處事，就一定會獲得高質(zhì)量的生活。

我們的安全感不是建立在我們擁有多少財富，有多高的地位，和別人的攀比等等之上的，而是從我們遵循內(nèi)在方向感和誠信原則的自然流露。我承認我自己和這種完全誠信原則斗爭過，而且也不總是遵循言行的完全誠信原則。我也發(fā)現(xiàn)比起實踐我想要傳授的這些觀念，只是談一談，教一教的話要容易得多。因此我意識到我必須全然地遵循這些誠信原則。我也觀察到如果有人從來沒有在他的生活當中實踐過原則為本的話，那他們就會走歪門邪道的方式達到成功，并且讓他們的價值觀由當時的環(huán)境來定義。他們會說：“人在江湖，身不由己”，意思就是說他們有他們自己游戲的規(guī)則。即使他們有一個很高尚的目標，他們也甚至會以公事公辦的名義來違背道德。

只有以以上這些永恒的原則為本，并依照他們生活，我們才能享有一個在道德，身心，社會交往和財務(wù)上持續(xù)的幸福感。