Discipline is freedom. You may disagree with this statement, and if you do you are certainly not alone. For many people discipline is a dirty word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. As Stephen R. Covey once wrote, “the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions”. And in the longer term, the undisciplined lack the freedom that comes with possessing particular skills and abilities - e.g. to play a musical instrument or speak a foreign language.
Self-discipline involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life. Therefore it is self-discipline that drives you to:
* Work on an idea or project after the initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away
* Go to the gym when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch TV
* Wake early to work on yourself
* Say “no” when tempted to break your diet
* Only check your email a few of times per day at particular times
In the past self-discipline has been a weakness of mine, and as a result today I find myself lacking the ability to do a number of things which I would like - e.g. to play the guitar. But I have improved, and I can say that it is self-discipline that got me out of bed this morning at 5am to run and then write this article. Believe me, I would love to be curled up in bed right now, but this desire is subordinated by my inner sense of purpose.
If you struggle with self-discipline, the good news is that it can be developed. For example, it is only in the past two years that I have trained myself to wake early. The following are what I have found to be the five traits of self-discipline:
1. Self-Knowledge
Discipline means behaving according to what you have decided is best, regardless of how you feel in the moment. Therefore the first trait of discipline is self-knowledge. You need to decide what behavior best reflects your goals and values. This process requires introspection and self-analysis, and is most effective when tied to written expression. I highly recommend taking the time to write out your goals, dreams and ambitions. Even better, write out a personal mission statement. I found that writing such a statement gave me a greater understanding of who I am, what I am about and what I value. Dr. Covey has an excellent Mission Statement Builder on his site.
2. Conscious Awareness
Self-discipline depends upon conscious awareness as to both what you are doing and what you are not doing. Think about it. If you aren’t aware your behavior is undisciplined, how will you know to act otherwise?
As you begin to build self-discipline, you may catch yourself being in the act of being undisciplined - e.g. biting your nails, avoiding the gym, eating a piece of cake or checking your email constantly. Developing self-discipline takes time, and the key here is you are aware of your undisciplined behavior. With time this awareness will come earlier, meaning rather than catching yourself in the act of being undisciplined you will have awareness before you act in this way. This gives you the opportunity to make a decision that is in better alignment with your goals and values.
3. Commitment
It is not enough to simply write out your goals and values. You must make an internal commitment to them. Otherwise when your alarm clock goes off at 5am you will see no harm in hitting the snooze button for “just another 5 minutes….” Or, when initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away from a project you will struggle to see it through to completion.
If you struggle with commitment, start by making a conscious decision to follow through on what you say you’re going to do - both when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. Then, I highly recommend putting in place a system to track these commitments. As the saying goes, “What gets measured gets improved”.
4. Courage
Did you notice the sweat dripping from the man in the picture at the start of this article? Make no mistake, self-discipline is often extremely difficult. Moods, appetites and passions can be powerful forces to go against. Therefore self-discipline is highly dependent on courage. Don’t pretend something is easy for you to do when it is in fact very difficult and/ or painful. Instead, find the courage to face this pain and difficulty. As you begin to accumulate small private victories, your self-confidence will grow and the courage that underpins self-discipline will come more naturally.
5. Internal Coaching
Self-talk is often harmful, but it can also be extremely beneficial if you have control of it. When you find yourself being tested, I suggest you talk to yourself, encourage yourself and reassure yourself. After all, it is self-talk that has the ability to remind you of your goals, call up courage, reinforce your commitment and keep you conscious of the task at hand. When I find my discipline being tested, I always recall the following quote: “The price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret”. Burn this quote into your memory, and recall in whenever you find yourself being tested. It may change your life.
紀(jì)律就是自由。你也許不同意這個(gè)說(shuō)法而且很多人跟你想得一樣。許多人認(rèn)為紀(jì)律只不過(guò)是缺乏自由的比較隱諱的說(shuō)法。而事實(shí)上正相反。正如Stephen R. Covey 曾經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)的那樣:“無(wú)紀(jì)律的人是心情,欲望和情感的奴隸”。而且長(zhǎng)此以往,無(wú)紀(jì)律的人會(huì)缺乏因?yàn)閾碛心撤N特定技能而帶來(lái)的自由,比如說(shuō)可以演奏一種樂(lè)器或者輕松地說(shuō)一門外語(yǔ)。
自律要求你三思而后行而不是頭腦發(fā)熱地憑感覺(jué)做事。所以為了真正重要的事情而犧牲暫時(shí)的快樂(lè)是常有的事。所以,正是自律激勵(lì)你做下面的事:
*三分熱度過(guò)后,你仍舊可以把某個(gè)想法或者項(xiàng)目往后推進(jìn)直至完成;
*盡管你唯一的渴望就是躺在沙發(fā)上看電視,最后仍舊到健身房建身;
*早起健身做各種工作;
*放棄破壞節(jié)食的企圖;
*每天只在特定時(shí)間收發(fā)電子郵件;
過(guò)去,自律可是我的一個(gè)弱項(xiàng),結(jié)果,如今的我發(fā)現(xiàn)有很多我喜歡的事卻沒(méi)有能力去做,比如說(shuō)彈吉他。但是,我已經(jīng)有所進(jìn)步了,而且就在今天,就是靠著自律,我5點(diǎn)就起床跑步了,然后還寫(xiě)了這篇文章。相信我,甚至是現(xiàn)在,我還是想蜷縮在床上休息呢,但是這個(gè)愿望跟我內(nèi)心的目標(biāo)相較而言是次要的了。
如果你正在和自律作斗爭(zhēng),好消息是情況會(huì)有所改管。拿我來(lái)說(shuō),我也不過(guò)是在2年以前才開(kāi)始訓(xùn)練自己早起的。下面是我發(fā)現(xiàn)的有關(guān)自律的5個(gè)要點(diǎn)。
1。自我認(rèn)識(shí)
紀(jì)律意味著不管你的感覺(jué)如何,你都要照著你經(jīng)過(guò)思考后認(rèn)為最好的那個(gè)方法去做。所以,自律的第一個(gè)要點(diǎn)就是自我認(rèn)識(shí)。你必須確定哪種行為能夠最好地反映出你的目標(biāo)和價(jià)值。這個(gè)過(guò)程需要你進(jìn)行自省和自我分析,而且最有效的辦法是用筆寫(xiě)下來(lái)。我極力建議你花些時(shí)間把你的目標(biāo),夢(mèng)想和抱負(fù)用筆寫(xiě)下來(lái)。如果你能夠?qū)憘(gè)個(gè)人使命陳述書(shū)就更棒了。我發(fā)現(xiàn)這個(gè)陳述書(shū)能夠讓我更好地認(rèn)識(shí)到我是誰(shuí),我是怎樣一個(gè)人以及我的價(jià)值是什么。Covey博士在他的網(wǎng)站上就有關(guān)于他自己使命的完美陳述。
2。清醒的意識(shí)
自律取決于你能夠清醒地意識(shí)到自己在做什么,沒(méi)有在做什么。想一想,如果你都意識(shí)不到自己的行為是無(wú)紀(jì)律的,你又怎么能夠知道你需要讓自己的行為符合紀(jì)律呢?
當(dāng)你開(kāi)始自律的時(shí)候,你可能正處于行為無(wú)紀(jì)律狀態(tài),比如說(shuō)咬指甲,逃避健身,違反節(jié)食去偷吃蛋糕或者不停地查收郵件。培養(yǎng)自律是需要時(shí)間的,這里的關(guān)鍵是你要對(duì)自己無(wú)紀(jì)律的行為有所意識(shí)。隨著時(shí)間的延長(zhǎng),這種意識(shí)會(huì)提前,也就是說(shuō),在無(wú)紀(jì)律的行為發(fā)生之前,你就意識(shí)到了。這樣,你就能夠決定為了更好地實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的目標(biāo)和價(jià)值,你不能這樣做。
3。貫徹實(shí)施
單單把目標(biāo)和價(jià)值寫(xiě)下來(lái)是不夠的。你必須下決心切實(shí)貫徹。否則,早上5點(diǎn)鬧鈴響的時(shí)候,你會(huì)覺(jué)得按下“5分鐘后再響一次”的按鈕沒(méi)什么大不了的。或者,當(dāng)你對(duì)某個(gè)項(xiàng)目的三分鐘熱度消退的時(shí)候,你會(huì)陷入是否要完成這個(gè)項(xiàng)目的痛苦掙扎中。
如果你總是不能很好地貫徹實(shí)施,那么首先請(qǐng)做一個(gè)明確的決定:一定要把你說(shuō)過(guò)的你要做的事完成,包括何時(shí)做,怎么做。然后,我強(qiáng)烈建議你建立一個(gè)系統(tǒng)跟蹤實(shí)施的過(guò)程。不是有句話叫:“有檢查才能有提高”么。
4。勇氣
你注意到本文開(kāi)始時(shí),從照片中的男人身上滴下的那滴汗了么?別搞錯(cuò)了,自律通常來(lái)說(shuō)可是極其困難的。心情,欲望和情感都可能是破壞自律的勁敵。所以,自律極其依賴于勇氣。如果事實(shí)上某個(gè)事情對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)是非常困難/或者痛苦的,那就別假裝它很容易,而是要找到面對(duì)這些痛苦和困難的勇氣。當(dāng)你開(kāi)始取得一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)勝利的時(shí)候,自信心就會(huì)增強(qiáng)而且當(dāng)自律需要勇氣時(shí),勇氣會(huì)自然到來(lái)。
5。自我訓(xùn)練
自言自語(yǔ)通常是有害的,但是如果你能夠控制它,它可是極其有益的呢。如果你感覺(jué)自己在自律面前又有動(dòng)搖時(shí),我建議你跟自己說(shuō)話,鼓勵(lì)自己,確定自己的信心。自言自語(yǔ)可以提醒你自己的目標(biāo),喚起勇氣,鼓勵(lì)你貫徹實(shí)施,同時(shí)也時(shí)刻提醒你要完成的任務(wù)。每當(dāng)我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己又在搖擺不定的時(shí)候,我總是回想這句話:“嚴(yán)守紀(jì)律的代價(jià)總是比悔恨的痛苦來(lái)得小得多”。把這句話爛熟于心,每當(dāng)自己開(kāi)始動(dòng)搖的時(shí)候就想一想,它能夠改變你的人生。